“Scalia” Mediterranean Roast Chicken

Last week in politics was one of the most exciting I’ve seen. The last time there was so much anticipation leading up to a major news event, I’m fairly sure it involved bio-chemical weapons, beheadings, economic implosions, airplane explosions, and psychopathic killers.  . .

The mass killing of nine African Americans at a historic church in South Carolina seemed to kick the week off like any other on CNN. But luckily, the nation seemed to rally together to shift the focus of the week and somehow we’re now looking at calling 6-26-15 National Equality Day. Wait. What? Yep.tumblr_nql981Noix1qj7to3o1_500

“Love Wins, Fools”–B.dawg

The tide turned quickly with a series of victories for three types of people I love: the fatties, the blacks, and the gays. First the Supreme Court ruled that Obamacare is here to stay. A major victory for those in need of subsidies and…bacon.  Then, just 5000 years after the civil war, Americans have decided that the stars and the bars that flew with the confederacy to defend slavery, probably “belongs in a museum.” Down came the confederate flag and up went the gay flag with a ruling from the Supreme Court that states cannot deny same-sex couples the right to marry. Oh yes. We lived this.giphy

Thanks R.B.G, Grumpy’s Hero of the Week 

Where there are heroes, there are, of course, also villains. Pea-brained-cowardly lioned-human “dissentipede”-chickens, who oppose freedom and equality for all and, who, as Jon Stewart pointed out on Monday, reduce our progress as a nation to “pure apple-sauce” and “jiggery-pokery.” Oof.

Applesauce with a side of Jiggery-pokery? shrug…

And since the best thing to do with chickens is to roast them, today I am channeling my villain-conquering death stare into imagining roasting and eating Antonin Scalia for dinner! Mediterranean-style of course.

To make my “I eat you for dinner, Scalia” Mediterranean roast chicken inspired by a recipe from Jerusalem, preheat your oven to 425F and simply watch my video. . .

Or gather your ingredients and read along. . .

You’ll need: 1 chicken fryer for roasting; 1 cup of tarragon; 1/2 cup thyme; 1 head of garlic; 1 tsp saffron; lemon zest from 2 lemons; 2 tbsp lemon juice; 10 large shallots; 1 cup of artichoke hearts; 2 tsp salt; 1 tbps freshly ground pepper; 1/4 cup olive oil; and 4 cups of unsalted chicken stock. roast_chicken_misenplace_mediterranean

Poor little Scalia…er…I mean chicken.

You can either truss the chicken first or after you are done seasoning it and stuffing it with the artichoke hearts and garlic. To truss the chicken, watch the video above.  Don’t get frustrated if you don’t get it right the first time. Just make sure the chicken is nice and tight with the legs up under the breasts, and you’ll be fine.

Next make the herb rub either by finely chopping the herbs and tossing with salt and pepper, or combining these ingredients in a food processor for about 15 seconds. herb_rub_mediterranean_roast_chicken
Cover the chicken in the lemon zest. Lemon_zest_saffron_chicken
Sprinkle some saffron on top and place saffron inside the chicken between the skin and the breast. Then cover the chicken in the herb rub. Alternatively you can cover in herbs first. The order doesn’t really matter. When you are done, it should look like this…herb-rub-roast-chicken-tarragon-thyme

Open the chicken up and stuff the chicken with the garlic, any leftover herbs, and the artichoke hearts. If you haven’t trussed the chicken yet, truss it now. Again, here’s the video.roast-chicken-mediterranean-cavity

A little obscene…but hey it’s instructional

If there is left over garlic/herbs/artichoke, simply place into the roasting pot along with the 4 cups of stock, the shallots, and the lemons you used for the juice.shallots-in-pot-roast-chicken

Place the trussed chicken onto the bed of shallots and sprinkle with olive oil. Place into the oven with the lid off for 60-75 minutes depending on the size of your chicken. Test the chicken to make sure the meat measures 165F before carving up and eating.Mediterranean_Roast-Chicken-final

This chicken is great with some pearl couscous and maybe some broccoli rabe? mmmm.



Mediterranean Roast Chicken
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
Delicious mediterranean Chicken with shallots, tarragon, artichoke hearts, thyme, and more!
Cuisine: Mediterranean
Serves: 4
  • 1 chicken fryer for roasting
  • 1 cup of tarragon
  • ½ cup thyme
  • 1-2 heads of garlic
  • 1 tsp saffron
  • lemon zest from 2 lemons
  • 2 tbsp lemon juice
  • 10 large shallots
  • 1 cup of artichoke hearts
  • 2 tsp salt
  • 1 tbps freshly ground pepper
  • ¼ cup olive oil
  • 4 cups of unsalted chicken stock.
  1. Preheat your oven to 425 F
  2. Give the chicken a bath in the lemon juice
  3. Truss the chicken now or later.
  4. In any order...
  5. Sprinkle/cover with lemon zest,chopped herbs, salt and pepper
  6. Sprinkle with saffron and place inbetween skin and breasts
  7. Stuff chicken cavity with artichoke hearts, garlic, and extra herbs
  8. Truss the chicken if you havent
  9. Place shallots and extra garlic and artichoke hearts into the roasting pot along with the lemon used for juicing and the 4 cups of stock
  10. Place chicken on top and sprinkle with olive oil
  11. Place into oven for 60-75 minutes until chicken measures 165F
  12. Eat!


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